Reality
by Franzi
Summary: Blair find out what happened to Jim. This is a Sequel to "A Figment of Reality"


**Disclaimer:**See the FanFiction Page

**Notes:** This is a sequel to "Figment of Reality". It can also work as a stand-alone story, but some things might make more sense if you've read it first. 

**Thanks** go to Elaine for betaing, E for the help with the medical stuff, FalconKenobi for listening, Fraggle for helping with a scene and everyone out there who pestered me into writing this sequel. 

**The Sentinel  
- Reality -  
** _Written by Franzi (September 2001 - December 2001)_

"Simon? What happened to Jim? Where is he?"

After Simon called me, I raced to the hospital as fast as possible. He didn't tell me anything on the phone, other than Jim's cover had been blown and they were taking him to the hospital. So it must be really serious, otherwise Simon would have told me more. I'm heading right to the trauma room, but before I reach the doors, Simon stops me. He forces me to sit down on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs.

"Blair," he starts to explain, "they took him right into surgery. They told me to wait here." 

"Simon, would you please tell me what happened?"

"As I've already told you, somehow they found out that he's a cop. When Jim didn't contact us at the arranged time, we searched for him and found him an hour later. He'd been beaten very badly..."

Why doesn't he tell me the rest of it? What is it that he's keeping from me? 

"Simon, there's more, right?" 

"He... he's also been stabbed twice in the abdomen and shot three times. One bullet in each of his legs and... one in his... head."

Oh. My. God! He's been shot in the head? I... can't... take... it... I'm close to a complete breakdown. I can feel my whole body shaking. God... does that mean...

"Will there be permanent damage?"

"They're not sure yet, but the doctors said that it's pretty unlikely as far as they can say. Considering the position of the bullet, it's pretty easy to access and not much brain damage - if any - was done."

So what is it that he's hiding from me? I think I'm getting sick.

"But...?"

"But they are worried about the stab wounds, because they nicked his intestines in several areas. They're sure he'll develop peritonitis. And, as far as they could tell me, a broken rib punctured his left lung, leading to a pneumothorax."

Toilet... Where's the fucking toilet?

"Simon, I need to... toilet."

That's all I can say, before Simon is helping me get up and we rush to the nearest bathroom. I'm on the edge of an emotional breakdown. I'm vomiting and crying at the same time. All the time Simon is with me, trying to comfort me. I'm still shaking badly. I'm so scared! Scared, I might lose Jim. Scared about what his life would be like if there's an irreparable brain damage. Scared about the future.

Simon is throwing me a questioning gaze. I shake my head. I'll tell him about my dream as soon as I've calmed down a bit. I can't talk right now. I'm feeling numb, as if this is all unreal. As if I'm still dreaming. There's just no phone to wake me up this time. 

Simon is helping steady me, as we make our way back to the chairs in the waiting area.

"What was that about?" He's asking.

I know he wants to have answers. Now. 

"You know, I had this dream tonight, of Jim... dying in my arms. I woke up to the phone ringing. And when you told me what happened... God, Simon. I still can't believe it! I don't know what to do if I lose him, or if he's not the same as before... If it hadn't been for the dream... this would be less scary... "

I can't talk any more. I hurt too much. 

"Blair, you know that Jim is strong. He *will* get through this."

My head is resting on his shoulder as I can't stop crying and trembling. I know that Jim will be in surgery for several hours, but I sure as hell won't leave this hospital before he wakes up again. Before I know he'll be okay.

I drift off to a restless sleep.

~~~~~

"Blair, wake up." 

Still feeling dizzy, I open my eyes to look upon Simon's face hovering over me. It takes me a while to figure out where I am. It's definitely not the waiting area. I'm lying on a hospital bed. Sitting up, I look questioningly at Simon. 

"A nurse arranged a bed for you here, so you wouldn't have to sleep on those hard plastic chairs. I carried you in here." 

"Jim?" 

"He's out of surgery. Dr. Allan, who's treating him, will talk to us in a minute. But Jim's alive, Blair." 

Thank God. So he made it through surgery. I'm just about to ask Simon for more information, but a doctor is approaching us. He's greeting me with a handshake. 

"Blair Sandburg, I assume?" 

I nod. 

"I'm Doctor Allan. I operated on Detective Ellison." 

I can feel my body tensing. 

"The good news is that the bullet did no damage to the brain. He shouldn't be any more affected by this than having a major headache. We've removed the bullets in his legs. Fortunately, the bullets missed the bones and major arteries, so his legs will heal just fine. We've had to insert a chest tube to help the lung re-expand. He's suffering from some broken ribs and a broken jaw due to the beating. We have to set the bones of the jaw once he can undergo another surgery. But what's worrying me most is the injury to the intestines. We've sutured the intestines and stopped leakage of the intestinal contents into the abdomen. We still have to worry about peritonitis. And considering how long it was before he was brought in, that is a very high probability. 

"We've placed a tube into his stomach through his nose to keep the secretions from his stomach from going into the intestines and that will help reduce the chance of peritonitis from getting worse. We're also giving him some pretty powerful antibiotics to combat the infection. 

"Because he can't eat, we'll be giving Detective Ellison nutrition through his vein. This will also help him heal faster. Right now he's getting settled in the ICU. This all sounds pretty bad, but considering the good shape Detective Ellison was in before - I'm positive that he'll make it." 

"Can I see him?" 

"Yes, but remember, as long as he's in the ICU, only ten minutes per hour. If there are no further complications, we'll transfer him to a regular room tomorrow." 

I nod. All I want to do at the moment is to see Jim - even if it's only for a few minutes. 

I follow Doctor Allan to Jim's cubicle. 

I almost cry again, as I see him lying there - pale and hooked up to all those IVs, machines and tubes. But he's breathing - on his own. His face is swollen and white bandages cover most of his body. 

I gently stroke his right hand - the only part of his body that's not attached to any machines or IVs. 

"Jim. You've got to be okay! You hear me? Don't you dare leave me like this." 

My voice is anything but steady, but I won't start crying again. I will be strong. Jim needs me - and not a total wimp. 

I jerk slightly as a nurse enters the room. Time to go. She smiles at me. 

"Mr. Sandburg, I'm sorry, but the ten minutes are over." 

I nod. For the first time today I actually take a look at my watch. Almost seven p.m. and I got the phone call at eight a.m. God, no wonder I'm so tired! 

Simon is waiting for me outside. He's smiling wearily at me. 

"C'mon Sandburg. You look like hell. Don't you think you should go home and sleep? Jim won't wake up before tomorrow morning. An I'm sure they'll call you if anything happens." 

I know he's right and I don't have any strength left to try and argue with Simon. I'd lose anyway. Without him having to ask for it I hand him my keys. I'm not able to drive. And I sure as hell don't want to end up in a car accident now. 

I climb onto the passenger seat of my car and immediately fall asleep. 

~~~~~ 

I wake up to my alarm clock. Five a.m. Unusual time for me to get up, but I don't want to miss Jim waking up. I don't want him to wake up alone. 

After a quick shower, I rush to the hospital. I almost run into Dr. Allan as I enter Cascade General. 

"Easy, Mr. Sandburg", he says with a smile on his face. 

"How's Jim?" 

"We transferred him to a regular room an hour ago. We expect him to wake up any minute. I suppose you want to be there when that happens?" 

I nod. 

"Okay then. He's in room 232. I'll take you to him." 

"Thank you." 

As I enter his room, Jim is still unconscious. Some of the monitors are gone, but he's still hooked up to a lot of machines and tubes. I sit down next to him and gently stroke his hand. God, I almost lost him yesterday. Almost. He could have bled to death or suffocated if they hadn't found him in time. I don't know what I'd have done if they'd found him dead. I honestly don't know. 

A gentle squeeze on my hand brings me out of my thoughts. Jim. He's awake! His eyelids flutter open and he looks questioningly at me. 

"Good morning, Jim. About time you wake up." 

"Wha..." 

He flinches as the talking causes him pain. 

"You're jaw is broken, so keep talking to a minimum, okay?" 

He nods. 

"You'll be okay, Jim. Whoever did this has done a lot of damage, but you don't have any permanent injuries. You'll need a lot of time to heal, though. God, I'm so glad to see you awake! I thought I'd lost you! Swear to me that you'll never scare me like this again." 

"Will... try to." 

I don't want to list all of his injuries now. He probably knows anyway. He gestures to his head. 

"Yeah, you've been shot in the head, but no brain damage was done. You were damn lucky, Jim!" 

"Hurts. And ... my... vision... is blurry." 

"Probably a Sentinel thing Jim. Sound like your senses are out of control. Have you tried dialling sight down?" 

He nods. 

"Doesn't work. All dialled down... already." 

"Okay, that might be a side effect of your concussion. Anything else?" 

"Not... much more. Just... an unnerving ringing in... my ear. Probably another... sentinel... thing." 

"Dialling it down didn't work, either, I suppose?" 

"No." 

I sigh. 

"As far as you can tell by now, is your vision blurry all the time?" 

"No." 

"So this might be something like a sensory spike that you can't get under control in your current condition. It should go away once you've improved. What about your hearing? Have you tried blocking it out?" 

He shakes his head. 

"Then we'll try this now. Okay, Jim. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice. Focus solely on my voice. Block everything else out." 

He nods. 

"Okay, now start tuning out all other noises. Start with the monitors beeping. Now add the typical hospital noises like nurses and doctors talking or beds being moved. Next add the noises from outside like the birds and the wind. That's it. Better now?" 

As he opens his eyes again, I can see that some of the tension is gone. He's smiling at me. Well, as good as one can smile with a broken jaw. 

"Better. Thanks." 

I smile back. 

"You're welcome, Jim. Now try to rest, okay? I'll be here when you wake up again." 

Pressing my hand, he closes his eyes and immediately falls asleep. Exhausted as I still am, I also fall asleep. 

~~~~~ 

Doctor Allan wakes me up as he enters the room. 

"Mr. Sandburg, would you please leave the room? I have to take a look at Jim." 

"Okay. I'll wait outside." 

I sit down on yet another plastic chair and wait for the doctor to finish examining Jim. There's something bugging me. I can't quite say what, but his blurry vision and the "noises" he's hearing... indicates something's wrong. I'm not really sure if it's really sentinel-related. For a moment I think about mentioning it to Dr. Allan, but what am I supposed to say? I mean, I can't tell him about the sentinel-stuff. And if it were really sentinel-related, he'd only do more tests and come up with nothing. No. I can't ask him about that right now. 

First, I've got to do some research by myself. I don't want to leave the hospital if it's not necessary, but I need my laptop for that. I have all my notes stored there and I can do some Internet research that way. Simon. I glance at my watch. Ten a.m. He wanted to be here in about an hour, so he has more than enough time to get me the laptop from the loft. 

"Mr. Sandburg?" 

I look up to see Dr. Allan standing in front of me. 

"Yeah?" 

"Detective Ellison is okay - concerning the circumstances. It looks like we've got the peritonitis under control with the help of the antibiotics. His legs are healing fine, and I've scheduled the surgery on his jaw for the day after tomorrow. I still need the neurologist to run some tests, but it doesn't look like he's suffering from any brain damage." 

Good. 

"He's asleep again, he needs the rest. I suggest you get something to eat in the cafeteria and then you can visit him again." 

I don't really want to, but he's right. I'm starving. But first, I've got to call Simon. 

"Yeah, that might be a good idea. Can I make a phone call?" 

"Sure. The phone is right over there." 

He's gesturing to the phone in the waiting area. 

"Thank you. Can you tell me where I can use my laptop? I have some research to do...for the U and I don't want to disturb Jim." 

"That's no problem. You can always use it in the cafeteria." 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

He leaves as I reach for the phone and dial Simon's number. 

"Cascade PD, Captain Banks." 

"Simon? Blair here." 

"Blair? Is it about Jim?" 

"No." 

"How is he?" 

"The doctor says he's okay concerning the circumstances. He's no longer in the ICU." 

"Good." 

"The reason why I'm calling you: can you please drive over to the loft and bring my laptop to the hospital? Jim is having some problems with his senses, and I need to find out what's wrong." 

"Sure. I can do that. Anything else you need?" 

"No, thank you. That's it for now." 

"I'll be there in twenty minutes." 

"I meet you in the cafeteria, Simon. Bye." 

"Bye." 

Sighing, I hang up the phone. My stomach is really protesting now. Okay, I can't argue with that and head to the cafeteria to finally get something to eat. 

I look at the salad in front of me. Two bites. That's all I could get down. I'm still picking at the food when I notice Simon entering the room. 

"Good morning, Blair. I thought you wanted to eat something?" He says, glancing at my plate. 

"I'm not hungry, Simon. There's something wrong with Jim, and first I have to find out what it is. He's complaining about his hearing and his vision. My first thought of course was, that his senses are causing him trouble, but my instinct tells me that there's something else wrong. Something not sentinel-related. Have you brought my laptop?" 

"Yeah. Blair, listen. You have to eat something. You didn't eat since when? Yesterday morning? You can't help Jim if you collapse from hunger. At least, try to eat something while you do your research." 

"Simon, how's the investigation going?" 

"Due to Jim's undercover work we could arrest two members of the gang. They haven't talked yet. Rafe and Megan are interrogating them and I think they will talk soon. And with all what we've got against them and what they did to Jim, I doubt they will ever get out of prison again." 

"I hope so. Just promise me that you'll never assign Jim to an undercover job again. At least not if I can't be with him. I don't want to go through this again!" 

I can feel the anger rising once more. Not just anger against the bastards who did this, but also anger against the Chief of Police. I know that this is irrational. I know that someone has to do the job. But still... 

"Blair, you know I can't promise you that." 

"Yeah... I know." 

He places a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" 

I nod. 

"Okay then. I'll be right back.. Just getting myself a coffee." 

Still a bit trembling, I open my laptop and as the operating system has finished loading, I start searching the net for medical research sites. I'm overlooking something here, and I must find out what this is. 

~~~~~ 

Two hours later, I'm still sitting here. Still clueless. In the meantime, Simon visited Jim twice and forced me to eat more than a few forks full of salad. I feel like I'm missing something here. As if the answer is right there on the damned screen and I just can't see it. The muscles in my back start protesting and I stretch a bit. After not finding anything useful on the net, I've started going through my notes. Maybe it is still a Sentinel thing. My gaze falls on the chapter that's entitled "Allergic reactions to medications"... Wait. That's it! Quickly, I look on the net for the symptoms of allergic reactions to antibiotics. There it is. Headaches, blurry visions, ringing in the ears. I have to... 

"Simon! I have to talk with Dr. Allan", I say, already running to the door. 

I can hear Simon murmuring some words I'd rather not understand, as he gets up and follows me. 

By the time I reach Jim's room I can see Dr. Allan and some nurses rushing to his room. What the hell happened? They don't allow me to go inside. I have to wait. Once more. I don't want to wait anymore. I can't stand this feeling of not knowing what's going on, the uncertainty is killing me. Simon doesn't say anything, only puts his arm around my shoulders, comforting me once again. God, I don't know if I can take much more. 

I'm not sure how much time has passed as Doctor Allan finally leaves Jim's room again. I have to know what's wrong with Jim. 

"What happened? How's Jim?" 

"He had a seizure..." 

"How bad?" I interrupt him, before he can finish the sentence. 

"He'll be okay. What we now have to worry about is what caused it. We've scheduled him for another CT in an hour, to make sure we didn't overlook something. And then we'll move him to the ICU again, so we can watch him the next forty-eight hours." 

"Could it also be an allergic reaction the antibiotic?" 

"It could, but he didn't show any other symptoms for this." 

What now? I have to tell the truth - well part of it anyway. 

"He did", I can hear myself saying. "He had symptoms like ringing in the ears, headache, blurry vision." 

"What? Why didn't any of you tell me?" Doctor Allan looks at me as if he can't believe his ears. 

"Because...", I start to stutter. What am I supposed to say? Because we thought it was a sentinel thing? "Because we thought it was a side effect of both - the concussion and the anaesthetics." 

"Well, you should have told me. Those symptoms are also a first sign of an allergic reaction to antibiotics. We'll change the family of antibiotics in his IV immediately. We'll still do the CT, because at this point we can't say for sure what actually caused the seizure. And next time, Mr. Sandburg, if he complains about *anything*, I expect you to tell me or a nurse about it, as soon as possible." 

I nod silently and watch Dr. Allan as he enters Jim's room again. 

Guilt overcomes me, as I can catch a short glance of Jim's lifeless form lying there. 

"Blair, it's not all your fault." 

Startled, I turn around to look at Simon. 

"What?" 

"Come on, Sandburg. I don't need to be telepathic to know that you're feeling guilty for what just happened to Jim." 

"Simon, this time it IS my fault. I didn't tell the doctor about the symptoms because I thought it was something wrong with Jim's senses. I spent precious hours surfing the net and checking my notes, instead of just asking a doctor. Hell, Simon, this could have killed him!" 

I'm almost crying by the time I finish the last sentence. Simon steps closer to me, but this time not to comfort me. He's looking me straight in the eyes as he starts to speak with a strong voice. 

"Sandburg. It isn't all your fault. After all, Jim didn't tell the doctors either. I know how stubborn he is when it comes to that, but there's no way in the world you could know that this was an allergic reaction. And we can't change what happened. Feeling guilty, doesn't help anyone now." 

Deep inside I know he's right. But still, the guilt is present and I can't seem to get rid of it. Sighing, I let myself sink back into the chair. I'm exhausted. 

"I know Simon, deep inside I know. I just... I guess I'm just too exhausted. The last two days... so much has happened. God, it's a wonder that Jim's survived that all. I guess I should be grateful that he's alive and can recover one-hundred percent, huh?" 

"Exactly." 

I nod. I don't know what else to say. A phone ringing disturbs my thoughts. It's Simon's cell phone and from what I can tell, someone from Major Crimes is phoning him about Jim's assaulters. 

"Blair, would you please excuse me? It looks like the two gang members are starting to talk and I have to go back to the station. You think you can handle this alone? I'll be back as soon as I can." 

"Sure. I've been through this situation more than once." 

"Okay. Just don't do anything stupid, okay? Do what the doctors say and don't go on another guilt trip." 

I smile wearily. "I'll try to." 

He's gently squeezing my right shoulder, before he turns to leave. I watch him leaving and desperately try to think of something else than what happened. I need some distraction, before I really break down from the different emotions overwhelming me. 

I'm not very successful. Not at all. I just can't force my thoughts to wander off to something different. Meditation. I could still try to do some sort of mediation, blocking out all thoughts, thinking of nothing. I've done that before. Shouldn't be too difficult, huh? 

Just relax. Breathe in and out. In and out. In... and out... 

~~~~~ 

"Mister Sandburg?" 

Startled, I wake up. 

"Yeah, Dr. Allan?" 

"Detective Ellison is awake now. I figured you wanted to see him?" 

I glance at my watch. Almost 5 pm. Shit. I've been sleeping here for almost three and a half hours. That would explain my back-pain. 

"Yes, thank you. How is he?" 

"Well, the CT came back clear, so we can be pretty sure that it was indeed an allergic reaction. If he doesn't get another seizure in the next forty-eight hours, we'll repair his jaw then. He's been re-scheduled for the day after tomorrow. And if no other complications come up, I'm confident that we can release him in about two weeks at latest. Though he'll be off from work for at least six weeks." 

Six weeks. At least. Well, that won't be easy. 

"Thank you, Dr. Allan. I'm glad to hear that he'll be okay. Can I see him now?" 

"Sure, just follow me. Since he's not in critical condition and only in the ICU for observation, I've loosened up the visitor times a bit. But please understand, that he needs his rest. He still has a long road to recovery ahead of him." 

I nod and follow Dr. Allan to Jim's ICU cubicle. I remember the last time I was here - yesterday. Trembling a bit, I step in. He's looking better, but still. Almost his whole body is covered in bandages, and color hasn't returned to his face. 

"Blair", he greets me, his face brightening up. 

"Hey, Jim. How are you?" 

"Okay... I think..." He's smiling wearily, and I can see that talking still causes him a lot of pain. "What... happened?" 

"You got an allergic reaction to the antibiotic they gave you. So the problems you were having weren't sentinel-related this time." 

I'm close to going on another guilt trip. Close to saying something like that it was all my fault. But I won't. Not this time. We *have* to talk about this, but not now and not like this. 

"That's good news. But you know we have to talk about what happened, don't you? Especially this allergic reaction you just had. Something like this can't happen again. We have to be more careful in the future." 

He nods and I sit down, taking his hand to stroke it. 

"Jim, they have arrested two members of the gang and Megan and Rafe interrogated them. Simon went to the station a few hours ago, as it looked like they were finally going to talk. Whoever did this to you, is going to pay." 

He tries to smile in response, but cringes as it causes him more pain. 

"Easy, buddy. Your jaw bone still isn't set, remember?" 

"Now... I do." 

"Doctor Allan said they'll do the surgery in two days, if nothing else comes up..." 

A knocking on the door interrupted me. 

"It's me, Simon." 

"Come... in", Jim answers. 

He steps in, taking a worried look at Jim. 

"Hey Jim, glad to see you awake. How are you?" 

"Hi Simon... It's... okay." 

"Good to hear. I've got good news for you. The two guys we arrested finally talked. We were able to arrest the rest of the gang within hours and they all confessed, so the case should be easy. You do need to appear at court, however, so the trial won't take place until you're back to one-hundred percent." 

"Thanks Simon... for... letting us... know and... good work..." Jim says. 

"What will happen with them until the trial takes place?" I ask him. 

" Due to the charges against them, I doubt they'll be granted bail and will be held in jail until their court date." 

"Good. That's really good to know, Simon." 

I smile as I'm stroking my thumb over Jim's cheek. Everything will be okay again. I can feel it. I *know* it. 

THE END  
(well, we'll see about that )

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